Wear Sunscreen

It's been awhile since I've blogged. NYC has a way of making time fly. Before you know it...you will have ended up living here for 4 months, gone on a few dates, started and ended a relationship, work at least a minimum 60 hour work week, frequented a bunch of bars and restaurants that you'll never remember, and stayed out way past your bedtime on a school night, but somehow still manage to make it to work and work a 10 hour shift. So yeah...that pretty much summarizes my life here in NYC in these past 4 months. But do I have any regrets? Absolutely not! I have had a great time thus far exploring this amazing city. I've learned a lot about not only the city, but also a lot about the people who live here and why they've chosen to stay. This city is definitely not for the faint of heart. First of all, you really have to be a people person to live in a city that has at least 14 million people in it every day. It is always crowded and bustling. Granted, I'm naturally a people person, but it gets to be too much even for me sometimes. The subways alone during rush hour speaks for itself. There are days that the cars are so packed that even if you are standing and not anywhere near a bar to grab, you don't have to worry about falling because you are surrounded by bodies that will keep you up. Where ever you go and no matter what time you are out, the streets are just as crowded with people. It is what gives New York life and the energy all of these people provide is what draws so many of us here. I went back to SF over the weekend and seeing it after 4 months of being away made me miss New York for a weekend. Although I miss my family and friends, and of course my dog tremendously, San Francisco felt so sleepy and boring to me, and only confirmed the fact that in this period of my life, New York is definitely where I want and need to be. However, I must say, I now fully understand what Kurt Vonnegut meant when he said in his famous 1997 commencement speech, "Live in NY once, but leave before it makes you hard." I can see how this can be true. This city is a survivalist city. They say if you make it here, you can make it anywhere. Most of the personalities I've encountered here have been pretty strong. People are more direct, pushy and at times even rude. (But I've also met some of the loveliest people here too) At work, it is definitely a "CYA" (Cover Your Ass) culture. There seems to be more people than jobs, especially in this economy, so everyone is paranoid about their position and will do whatever it takes to keep it. Because certainly, without a job, living in this already challenging city becomes even more challenging. NYC is not a cheap place to live. In fact, I had gotten use to $12 glasses of wine and when I went home over the weekend and was charged $5 for one, I almost ordered 2 just for the hell of it. So yeah...I'm almost half way into my commitment of being in New York for a year. I toggle with the idea of staying longer and if by chance I happen to fall in love here (which is unlikely given the 5/1 girl to guy ratio)...I would even consider staying...but for now...I'm holding on to my commitment. I think I need to be here long enough to get a little harder, but not too hard, especially if I plan on moving back to soft old California some day (leaning towards going back to Southern though). Anyways...thank you Scott for reminding me about Kurt Vonnegut's speech. I've always liked it and was glad to read it again today. Here it is for your enjoyment and hopefully inspiration.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75^th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen."